On Vacation Pay

  • Martin Douglas: My five-year anniversary with the store was last week!
  • Assistant Manager: Awesome! Are you gonna get your vacation time cashed out?
  • Martin Douglas: Why would I do something like that? I'm being given money to not be here. Like, you get PAID. To NOT BE HERE. Whoever came up with that, I hope those cats got a Nobel Peace Prize for that shit. If I were to meet the people who invented vacation pay, I'd kiss them right on the mouth and say, "You motherfuckers changed the world. I am eternally grateful for your service."

Notes

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